Judging The Lush

You've probably done it yourself. Put on those judgmental shades and got down to business judging that "lush", "cheap date", or "lightweight". While I've always placed a higher level of respect and reverence upon those who were able to "hold their liquor", I've recently begun to wonder, did I actually have it all wrong all along?

Why do we consume...
When I think about my own consumption habits, there are common threads that link everything--I'm trying to relax, let loose, have fun--essentially self medicate and prescribe a substance that will help me achieve that desired outcome.

Yet, in the midst of that consumption, I'm very aware--almost hyper aware--of my current state of mind. Almost as if I'm constantly trying to keep thousands of marbles from falling off of a convex table. But why would I fight my changing my state of mind, while in pursuit of changing my state of mind?

I know why!
Plain and simply, if I allow the effects of my consumption to take hold--unobstructed--other people will think I'm a loser. And you've felt this, too. Stiff lip, firm stance, deliberate speech. The exact opposite of a lush. But what's interesting is that...guess who's having more fun? Guess who's actually letting loose; relaxing?

So there's a good chance that the lush I'm judging doesn't care and will have a good time regardless of my disapproving looks and/or comments. How do I know? Because most lushes keep on being lushes. And I know that there are those who consume and act like total morons, but that could be the person who loses it after 3 shots, or the person who can down a 5th by themselves.

Anyway, I say all of that to say; from here on, I'm abandoning my front. If someone is in "pursuit of happiness" and not ruining my day, why should I care? Surely there's nothing wrong with being giggly, more open and a little loose with the lips.

Besides, I'm trying to get there myself...right?

"Elitism in all forms distracts us from the truth of our common [goal]" - Dustin Moskovitz

The Paralysis of 'Hope'

That's nice... So what're you going to do about it?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that having hope can be a dangerous thing. While I know you're thinking that hope can bring many wonderful things to individuals as well as the masses, what does it really provide?

Having been drilled into our psyches as a functionally beneficial part of human existence, this morning I had the realization that maybe I don't entirely understand how hope functions in my life. And oddly enough, it was a misplaced pair of sunglasses (for the 3rd time), that catalyzed this internal debate since I'm still hoping that they'll show up around my house.

...but now you're probably lost so let me tease that out a bit.

In 2008, the world rallied around then D-Sen. (Ill) Barack Obama. With promises of hope and change, he convinced the public that there were brighter days ahead for America and the world.

Problem 1: Hope and change were neither promised nor guaranteed
Problem 2: This message was interpreted as an outcome and not a process.

It's no wonder so many (Obama supporters) are upset with this President. They thought that they could do nothing and a better life would just show up on their doorstep!

Tangentially, if we evaluate the role of hope in our own lives, we often don't realize that it leads to a similar form of paralysis.

In the name of this noble concept veiled in optimism, hope allows us to justify inactivity and idleness. For most of us (and if you don't think it's you just look at your friend circles), hope translates to "waiting for the best possible outcome". You may not believe it, but hope is a great mechanism to make people wait for something, while they do nothing. Don't believe me? Let's run a few familiar scenarios.

Scenario 1: Holding out hope for a relationship that will never materialize and wasting months of your life in constant craving--all the while doing nothing and waiting for something to magically change. 

Scenario 2: Holding out for that dream job--only to stop applying for other positions. 

Scenario 3: Hoping that whoever you pray to will answer those prayers--all the while not putting in the work yourself to get there. (e.g. God helps those who help themselves.)

A whole lotta hoping; not a lotta doing.

Basically, hope trains us to pursue our dreams, only for us to stop short and ask our dreams to meet us half way.

So sure, I know I sound pretty cynical, but at the end of the day having hope in/for something should trigger acknowledgement that there are work requirements to get there.

Hahaha so I'll bring this full circle (and back to more shallow waters) and say that after searching high and low, I'm committing myself to giving up hope on ever seeing my sunglasses again. Besides, the sooner I let go of that hope, the sooner I can move on with my life.

NZ Day 2 and 3: Exploration

Now that I’ve had a few days to get settled in, we ventured out to see what else New Zealand has to offer. Confused, we managed to get a few things in while still getting a sense of the "local" scene. Here’s a quick look at some of the more memorable items.

Good Day For:

American Music – After hearing nothing but Ri-Ri, Chris Brown, Maroon 5, Lady Gaga, and Taylor Swift thus far on the trip. Whether it’s a gas station, a bar, or a retail shop, I could've honestly be listening to a radio station being streamed out of Central Ohio and wouldn't have known the difference.

Trickery – After C-Note successfully dumped 2 heaps of chili flakes into my food by telling me there was a half naked woman walking by the window.  To make matters worse, when she hadn’t successfully completed her dubious task, she actually got me to turn for a second time.

For the record, there was no half naked woman; and apparently “It was as easy tricking me as it would be tricking her 3-year old niece into believing that Santa Clause was outside.”

American Football – After nearly crapping ourselves when we found the Cowboys @ Redskins game on. 

The most glorious thing to find on a Monday afternoon in a foreign land

C-Note Giving Me Shit – After having an English bartender chant about me being “a piss pot through and through”. WTF is a piss pot? Something for an outhouse??

Bad Day For:

Outdoor Adventure - Despite everything to do from rafting, to bungee jumping, to sky diving, to cliff swinging; we were instead pro-life and chose to (dun da-da daaaaah!)…

Go wine tasting!

Getting a Kiwi Girl - After being told that I could never date in New Zealand because I play sports like golf and tennis. (Because dating a girl on the other side of the planet sounds like a GREAT idea…)

Crackhead Behavior – After searching, sniffing, and scratching high and low for friggin wifi--even going to far as to buy unnecessary meals in order to enjoy 15 strrrrrapping minutes of connectivity.

Drunk, Hungry 18 year olds – After witnessing a mob of children nearly tear the door off of a KFC because the were 1am Drungry.

The Price of Orange Juice – After dropping $4.50 on a single 10oz glass. Thankfully they were kind enough to give me ice with my drink, and I definitely appreciated the full price refill...

Safety – After risking life and limb enjoying a jet boat through the canyons of the Shotover River. Fun? Yes.  Worth the risk? Ehhhhh not sure this would be a cool way to die...

  

Timely Service – So wait staff in restaurants and bars are paid something like $20/hr which means that tipping isn’t a standard custom. The result, however, is zero incentive to hurry to do ANYTHING.  But maybe it’s good to not have bartenders selling dreams of wild sex in the restaurant alley just because they want an extra 10% tip from your tab.

Oh, and the Kiwi consensus is that Cricket is “boring”. All I know is that that stands (on TV at least) look emptier than a div. 1-AAA track meet.

Welcome to New Zealand...My Precious

I’ve finally made it to New Zealand.  "Middle Earth." 

A place where people are as obsessed with “The Hobbit” as Americans are with, guns, not paying for anything and wanting the service of everything, and the "Freedom of Obesity".

Given that this was the first flight I've ever had of longer than 7 hrs (sad, I know), I wasn’t fully prepared for that which is the misery of a window seat in the meadows of airline claustrophobia.  Add to that the guy next to me who was mouth-breathing into my ear while he slept, and it gives you a lot of time to NOT rest and think.  

Between the flight and the 6+ hours spent in the car (on the other side of the road) en route to Queesnstown for New Years, a few things came to mind...

1)   I was 1 of 2 black people on a 400+ person flight.  Turns out the other black guy was a kid from Mizzou who was taking a college trip with his class. Who knows though; I guess we’ve got better places to visit like Washington D.C. … or Atlanta.

2)   I have NO idea what people are saying around here:   

   Every time I hear “mate” I have to unthink of Animal Planet  

   "Edgen nethin ells” translates to: “Would you like anything else” 

     One guy mentioned that he worked as a “Shiff”, and it wasn’t but after another 20 minutes of hearing him phonetically re-pronounce other words in ways I’ve never heard, did I realize that he had actually said, “Chef”  

3)   California is beautiful, but New Zealand is incredible--Then again, it could just be novelty.  But I don't really care...it's sick!

They should call this Lake Listerine.

4)   I’m upset with my American education since, although they TRIED to teach us the metric system in school, the rest of American society has done nothing to incorporate it into American life. 

"Your bag cannot be over 23 kilograms”
 “As we make final descent into Auckland, it’s about 18 degrees Celsius on the ground”
"Queenstown is about 500 kilometers away”

My WTF face

I mean, I get it. It’s my fault for being an arrogant American and not taking it upon myself to learn this stuff, but no one retains information that they don’t need to use everyday.  (See figure: Calculus and Chemistry)

Anyway, we’ve another 2 weeks and today we're kicking it off with some wine tasting.  I’ve gotta tell you though, New Zealanders are a kind yet shy people.  Also, it’s abundantly obvious that while there are plenty of Polynesians around here, the Black American is something that they’ve only seen on television. 

Oh! And I need to learn the rules to Cricket.  

My Album Titled "21"

I should be ashamed of myself for having not posted anything here in the last 18 months, however a lot has gone down since I last visited this blog.

A new job, new friends, and a discontinued relationship will do that to you.

So given that socializing and working make for a relatively dull lifestyle, I decided that I needed a hobby.  Since most hobbies cost money and my extracurricular cash is paying the rent of my local bartenders, why not turn to the world's best form of free entertainment; music.

I'm usually quite reluctant to share stuff like this with anyone given I primarily make these songs for myself and my own inner peace and relaxation. But hey--

Maybe you'll get a glimpse into my soul...

...though probably not.

Among other reasons that I typically don't share this stuff:
a) It's not polished
b) It's taste agnostic
c) It's truly all over the place; and
d) It really is JUST a hobby so some of it's pretty bad

Either way, I'm certainly not trying to impress anyone with this--And whether or not you listen to a song more than once should be all the opinion you have anyway--

Oh yeah--It's called "21" in honor of the 21st day of the year.  The best day the world would ever know back in 1984. Bahahahah

Download Here: http://ow.ly/glRCf

What Has Happened to Originality?

Listen to the radio and you'll find yet another remake of a classic song.

Go to the multiplex and you'll find yet another remake of a classic film.

Go online and you'll find yet another remake of someone else's opinion or idea.

Arguably, this hyper-connected world is killing our ingenuity and originality as any idea, approach, opinion, or strategy can be simply lifted from elsewhere. Now trust me, I'm a huge proponent of learning from others, but where do you draw the line between guidance, and regurgitation? After all, why bother to learn anything when you can drop it into a search?

Even the simple act of performing a web search means that billions of people will be pulling from the same repository of information. Wikipedia has revolutionized the way that we access facts, but it has also devolutionized the way that we problem solve, research, and deductively reason.

The same can be said for music. Turn on the radio and 90% of what you'll hear you will be remade songs from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Technology has revolutionized the way that we RE-create music, but it has also devolutionized the way that music is created.

So this begs the question...who's to blame? Do we blame technology? Or do we blame ourselves?

First off, yes. Technology makes everything in our lives easier. But given that we are (apparently) inherently lazy creatures, we certainly have no problems indulging ourselves.

I also think it comes down to the fact that because there is so much information passing by us at any given moment, we are actively and passively influenced by all of it... So like a web search, our brains just go for the most immediately accessible, relevant solution that we can get our grubby little neurons on.

Whether Music, TV, Film, Politics, you name it--We simply can't avoid performing someone else's song. That, and in the information age there's the unspoken notion that "'tis better to contribute nonsense than to contribute nothing at all".

Remember when technology use to make our lives functionally better? It seems that now days technology makes our lives conveniently better. Problem is, the way that we think seems to have followed suit in that instead of seeking functional knowledge to create something new that's of value, we seek convenient knowledge because it's easy to replicate.

What are your thoughts?

Why Should You Volunteer?

Since late 2009 I've been volunteering with a program called BUILD. This organization, veiled in entrepreneurial endeavors, is intended to facilitate the pursuit of underprivileged students toward college; many of whom will be first generations students in their families.

Because these students are early adolescent high schoolers however, it certainly doesn't come without challenges. Romance, drugs, stresses of school work, stresses at home, and popularity routinely pepper the conversations that I overhear and I often catch myself playing parent while forgetting that I'm only but 12 years removed from those same discussions. Yet, despite providing a different perspective than what is fed to them by their parents and teachers, they actually provide me with a sort of 90 minute/week oasis from my own adult stresses. Work, relationships, family; all of these things are pushed away when I'm with these kids.

I can only hope that I'm able to marginally do the same for them.

With that, I figured that I'd share a commercial that we filmed for their business, "Sleep Well Pillows". These are travel pillows that the kids have made by hand and have been selling to friends and family. All of the editing was done by my 10th grade kid, Marco (he's the one that stretches into Bria's face!)

Either way, if you're thinking about volunteering, wherever that may be, I highly recommend it. It'll put a new spin on the way that you see your life, the lives of others, and the intersections between each. And besides, spending my Saturday with them was one of the best afternoons I've had in a long, long time.